The Devil is a Loser FiM
by Zeeth Kyrah
Summary: Three ponies meet in Ponyville thanks to a delivery gone wrong. Given the chance to seek their dreams, they take off on an adventure of wonder and discovery, chasing a lost family legacy and the restoration to honor and glory that will come with it.
1. Prologue: Meet the Heroes

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction by  
>Zeeth Kyrah<p>

**The Devil is a Loser**

Summary: _Three ponies meet by chance in Ponyville thanks to a delivery gone wrong. Realizing the opportunity to seek their dreams, they take off on an adventure of wonder and discovery, seeking a lost family legacy and the restoration to honor and glory that will come with it._

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><p><strong>Prologue: Meet the Heroes<strong>

_Movie Trailer Announcer voice:_

**Mystic Heart** is an empath who grew up farming in the tiny rural town of Wellshod. Her family doesn't know how to help her with her talent, and she has realized that she needs exposure to more people in order to further train her skills. With this in mind, she has just left home and moved to a larger town - Ponyville - where she hopes to refine her abilities and achieve mastery of the Heart-Song.

**Lost Star** is a magic-using seeker of "things lost and found". Her many magical skills add up to some rogueish tricks, but her mainstay has always been the unusual, obscure, and formerly-known. She's a student at the magical academy in Canterlot, the city on a mountain; but on her summer break, instead of hitting the beaches like richer ponies, she's spending a few weeks in the small town of Ponyville, close to the Everfree Forest, where she's hoping to find adventure and mystery.

**Sky Rattler** is the great-granddaughter of an infamous sky pirate, Thunder Rattler. Her goal in life is to be the captain and pilot of her great-grandmother's skyship, the _Bonnie Thunder_, and all of her skills and abilities focus on that. Unfortunately, the skyship has been hidden for generations, and the search burns through a lot of money. Sky works hard for her dream, but at this point it's the only thing that's keeping her going; she's working herself to death to pay for her next fruitless expedition, one she might never embark on, much less complete. But a delivery gone wrong is about to change her life.

In Ponyville.

Entering to the tune of Lordi's "The Devil is a Loser", Sky is given a whole new kind of chance. A chance to finally, truly, without reservation, reach for what her whole being screams to the world is rightfully hers...

And claim it.

_**The Devil is a Loser**_: Chapter One

_Coming Soon!_


	2. Chapter One: Verge

**Chapter One: Verge**

_(Character theme: "Heart of Spring" by David Arkenstone.)_

Mystic Heart Oatcakes woke, and saw the forest around her was lightening. Today was the day, and she would be in Ponyville shortly. She stretched and stood, shaking herself out. A farmer's early mornings would stand her well today. She smiled, thinking of what awaited her: Ponyville! A busy town full of ponies, and many new lessons for her sensitive heart and spirit.

After sipping the last from her canteen and having a couple of oatcakes for breakfast, she started walking down the road, mindful of other traffic that might be coming along. Not that it usually did, but Equestria was a busy nation, and somepony was almost guaranteed to come down the road every other day.

She stopped atop a hill and caught her third sight of Ponyville, ever. Mystic Heart looked back up the road toward her small and fading hometown two days' walk away, and said one last goodbye. Then she trotted onward, passing a friendly-looking cottage surrounded by wildlife just waking up, and into her new life.

_(Character theme: "Venus" from the Music of the Spheres symphony, as played on the glass armonica, an obscure instrument invented by Benjamin Franklin.)_

As one pony was entering Ponyville looking for a home, another was getting on the land coach to Ponyville for vacation. Lost Star had spent too many summers in Canterlot, and she knew she was going to go stir-crazy if she didn't get away, despite the size of the town. Few friends and too much studying had brought her low, with little to do and nopony to do it with. The richer ponies were headed to beachfront properties to enjoy lots of time in the sun and the surf, but Lost wasn't that rich. Still, the dark-colored pony had saved her bits, and she was looking at a nice, long vacation in Ponyville - almost two months, if she was careful, and longer if she rented her services for spending cash.

She had located a lovely bed and breakfast in town, and had sent a letter ahead inquiring about a room for the summer. The response was positive, and month-long renting was available. She'd have to help out with the chores now and then, but that was no big deal. Plans were made and finalized, and by this evening, Lost was going to be checking in and settling down to a smaller town and a slower pace. But while researching Ponyville, she discovered two interesting facts: The winner of last year's Best Flyer in Equestria competition lived there, and so did Twilight Sparkle.

Lost dreamed of having such a friend as a Princess, but she knew there was no chance of it. The few times she'd met Princess Celestia, the latter had been kind, but it was clear that there was no space for a second apprentice. And it was really an apprenticeship, even though the Princess called herself a "mentor"; there were few other words for a relationship so close between teacher and student. Lost Star wasn't jealous, though - it didn't seem that she was ever jealous of anypony. Rather, she idolized Twilight for it.

She reminded herself not to be a fanfilly when they met. And it would be a long vacation, so of course they'd meet. Then the coach surged ahead, and the long ride through White-Tail Woods began, the lurch bringing Lost's thoughts into the present. The ride was actually so comfortable that she fell asleep on the way.

_(You know who's up next. Put on the Lordi, same song as the title of this tale.)_

The load was too heavy, the sun was too bright, there were too many stops on the route, and the air was turbulent. Sky was no complainer or slacker, but her boss really was just about whipping her flanks over her schedule and the loads she was carrying. If she'd known when she was looking for work just what kind of a beast he'd turn out to be, she would have taken that job as the janitor in a grease factory. There just didn't seem to be any justice in it.

_Story of my life,_ she thought one more time, then headed to her second delivery. It took only a half-hour to get there, but arguing over the delivery manifest at the first stop had made her late by ten minutes. The client at the second stop decided to yell at her about it.

The rest of the day went like that, every stop an angry customer with a pathetic excuse to take their noise out on the dark-blue pegasus hauling a double-wide trailer on her own. It was like her boss was giving her all the worst clients today... except that she'd had worse routes.

After a particularly ugly scene at a haberdasher's in Canterlot, where it turned out that the dock crew had placed several boxes of hats on the bottom of the load and gotten them crushed, she headed for what looked like her last stop: Ponyville. She almost never had trouble in Ponyville.

The sun was beginning to set when Sky Rattler landed for a rest. She brushed back her short, ratty pink mane, and almost fell to her knees. Her wings ached and her body was sore from the day-long effort. She was sure she had seen a strange dragon flying around in the south-east near Cloudsdale, where she currently lived. And she was only halfway to Ponyville.

Evening traffic was slow, and the forest was peaceful. She pulled the huge cart patiently until her wings were rested a bit, then leapt up and hauled the final delivery into the air. The address on the package said "Doorbell" in Ponyville, but Sky wasn't quite sure where that was. She'd have to ask for directions.

She hated asking for directions. But at least it was the last thing she had to do before heading back to base.


	3. Chapter Two: Welcome to the Pinkie Zone

**Chapter Two: Welcome to the Pinkie Zone**

_(Music: "My Little Pony" FiM theme, light instrumental intro)_

_T'was brillig,_ goes the poem, and Mystic didn't really know what that meant, but she was sure it had something to do with a resting-time. Of course, her father had never been able to say what a "slithy tove" was, either, nor any of the other nonsense words. But the glorious golds and oranges painting the clouds around the brilliant sunrise brought that old Jabberwock to mind. _Daddy and his silly wake-up calls,_ she thought with a smile. He loved to recite that poem in order to get Mystic and her sister out of bed.

Ponyville was just waking up as she passed the first few houses on the road in. The streets were quiet, with just one or two ponies on their way to their jobs, or getting ready to open their businesses. An orange pony walked by, giving Mystic Heart a smile and nod. She smiled back, wondering what this one did for a living.

She had been here before, but only twice, and not for long. The town wasn't really familiar, and there were places she was sure she'd never been - like this northward street she was walking on. She had no idea where it went, but she was pretty sure it wasn't anywhere near the local lumberyard or marketplace.

Suddenly she felt a shock in her heart. A pony up above the street let out a loud gasp, and Mystic looked just in time for a window shutter to slam. _That didn't feel quite like fear,_ she thought. _Definitely surprise, though._ She stood there, her heart pounding. But the giant gingerbread house stayed quiet, and the yellow earth pony decided to shake off that startlement and continue up the street.

Then a pink blur shot out of the front door and seemingly bounced off the air as it made a right-angle turn and headed straight at her, screeching to a sudden halt and turning out to be a pink pony with a poofy, curly mane and a manically grinning expression on her face.

"Oh my gosh you're new, aren't you? I knew when I saw you that you were new, because I know everypony, and I mean _everypony_ in Ponyville, and when I saw you I didn't know you and since I didn't know you, that must mean you're new, and that means you don't know anypony and the best way to fix that is... A PARTY! But I don't think a surprise party would be good, you don't like surprises much do you?" Mystic nodded, feeling her surprise rolling around underneath a bouncy wave of giggling glee that was trying to get out and run wild with her. "Hey, I know! It's so early, everypony's having breakfast, so why don't you come have breakfast with me? Mr. and Mrs. Cake are just finishing up a batch of muffins and I put in some cupcakes and I think we have a carrot cake too if you want some of that, and then maybe we can talk about stuff while I wash up or something, okay?"

"... Okay, sure, I'd love to!" Mystic wasn't much for words, but she could tell this was somepony who needed company.

The hour passed easily, Pinkie Pie and Mystic Heart introducing themselves and talking about life in Ponyville and Wellshod. Once Mystic realized Pinkie was leaving pauses here and there, the barrage of words turned into something closer to actual friendly enthusiasm, and she was able to learn a lot about the town. Also about some of the other surprises waiting for her.

"Ooh, twitchy hoof! That one hasn't happened for a while."

"You get twitches?"

"Yeah! They mean things. A twitchy hoof means somepony is gonna go on a trip! That's my left front hoof, so it's somepony close to me. I wonder who it's gonna be?"

"Oh. I don't get twitches like that."

"Oh, well, that's okay. Most ponies don't. I mean, if everypony knew what was going to happen, then where would all the surprises come from? I'd have to find a whole new way to throw surprise parties, then!"

Mystic decided she could share a secret, too. She looked over Pinkie's shoulder, then to her eyes.

"Your grandma says hi, she really liked the birthday cake you made her."

Pinkie stared. Mystic felt her heart wobbling like she'd just jumped off a cliff.

"G- she- ..."

_Here it comes..._ Anxiety started to take hold.

"**I KNEW IT!** You're like me, you know things!" Pinkie was looking all around, bouncing so hard Mystic was sure the whole town was vibrating like an earthquake. "Hi, Granny! Thanks! I'm glad you liked it, I kinda wondered since I didn't really know if you were there to see it or anything. Did you like the card I left you, too?"

Mystic managed to shake of her surprise at the unexpected acceptance, and continued. "She's nodding. And.. rubbing her right ear?"

"Ohhh! Yeah! Somepony wants to talk to me, I think. My right ear twitches when that's gonna happen. I should go see them."

"And she's pointing outside."

"Cool! She always did believe me when I said I knew things. Tell you what, Mystic, why don't you come with me and meet my friends?"

"Okay!" She smiled to Pinkie's grandma, who smiled and waved, then faded out. The pair went outside, Pinkie hopping and Mystic having to trot a little to keep up. "Hey, Twilight! Going somewhere?"


	4. Ch Three: Serious Prankster Party Pony

**Chapter Three: Serious Prankster Party Pony**

It was almost eleven when the coach pulled to its stop next to Ponyville's now-infamous town hall. Lost Star had enjoyed her nap, and the forested landscape was beautiful, but she was restless and ready to get moving. When the conductor opened the door for her, the black unicorn leapt out wearing showy purple-rimmed sunglasses and a bit of glitter in her coat.

"HelloOOOO, PONYVILLE!" Lost's shout was greeted with a few stares, while the conductor sighed and shook his head. "Let's get this summer rolling!" She shook out her black mane, streaked with various colors, and helped unload her bags.

"Thank you, sir. I guess I'll see you in a couple of months, huh?" He shrugged at that, accepted a couple of bits as a tip, and assisted the day's pickups into their seats.

And with that, Lost Star was left on her own in the middle of town. Fortunately, she'd made extra-sure where the hotel was: up in the courtyard area north of the marketplace, in sight of the schoolhouse. With a flick of magic, she lifted her luggage, fitted her panniers, and was ready for a brisk walk to claim her room.

Once everything was stowed, Lost pulled out a map of town she'd copied, and made small marks at the places she intended to visit. There was a joke shop, a bakery, a spa, at least one cafe... she'd have to go 'round the whole town soon enough, but for today she wanted to focus on prank supplies and snacks.

_(Music: "Stamp on the Ground", by the ItaloBrothers)_

At the jester's cap, Lost bought a few interesting objects and powder packets, including her favorite: sour dust, sugar crystals with pure sour flavor in them. At the market, she discovered bananas for sale, and bought one of those as well.

Then she went on a spree, planting surprises into any number of ponies' lives.

At the flower stall, she set a squirting flower in a pot on the ground, facing away from the crowd. When one of the sisters went to pick it up, it soaked her face. She recoiled in surprise, while the other two investigated, but the street was busy and Lost had been properly sneaky putting it there.

At the apple stall, one pony was complaining about the lack of flavor in apples today. Lost held up a shiny red apple, then gave it to the complainer, saying, "Here, you don't like these apples, have one of mine!" The grumpy pony went on her way, but Lost found herself facing an angry farmer until she explained the joke: it was a hollow plaster apple. "She'll really learn what a lack of flavor is when she tries to eat that one!" They shared a laugh, then Lost bought a real apple for herself.

At the bakery, she bought a sack of muffins for later. Later at the park, she left a muffin sitting on a bench. After a few minutes, one pony leapt on it and devoured the muffin - to her immense regret. The sour dust Lost had sprinkled on top caused the grey pegasus to gag and turn several bright colors, her eyes spinning wildly and wings flailing.

Lost heard laughter that wasn't hers, and looked around, but didn't see anypony. Then her ears perked, and her horn pulled upward. She looked up to see a bit of rainbow flopping around on the edge of a cloud. Then a blue pony pulled herself up and grinned down at the unicorn, revealing her rainbow-colored mane, and the tail that Lost had seen bouncing as she laughed.

"Hey, you like pranks, too, huh? What's your name?"

"I'm Lost Star! Who are you?"

"Rainbow Dash! _The_ best flier in Equestria, and perpetrator of the greatest pranks _ever_!"

"Oh? Care to show me a few?"

"Hah! How about a competition?"

Lost grinned. Then she used her magic to pull the banana out of her left pannier and set it on her head. "Sorry, I can't do a prank war. There seems to be a banana on my head!"

Rainbow Dash stared as Lost practically pranced away. "Oh, it's gonna be like that, huh? I wasn't _gonna_ declare war, but Now. It's. On! Banana-Head just _earned_ herself a prank war!"

Lost grinned as she overheard the declaration. Now she was sure she'd have an interesting summer!


End file.
